Know Your Hiztory by Paul Gambaccini with Excluzive Insider Goss from Honey Droolz 

Part One

Early Days - Nashville and Sydney

Pam was a well-known face on the country music scene a long time before the Droolz story begins. A regular face around Nashville, she won many awards for her heart-rending songs of forlorn love and TV dinners with her country combo "Black Tamboureenz".  It was at the Nashville 1990 awards ceremony that a fateful meeting occurred: legend has it that it was in a tiny restroom in Nashville that she met a young Australian country star "Sezah" who'd just had a massive syndicated hit "Your Love Has Squeaky Wheels" with her one-timer lover Garth Brooks. Upon discovering that they used the same deoderant and always had, Pam and Sezzie became close friends.
Nashville 1988
Pam, Grand 
Ole Opry, 1989
Family photo of Sezah
at home in Sydney
Sezah and Garth 
before the breakup

Pam was becoming increasingly disenchanted with the country scene, and she found a confidante in Sezah, whose breakup with Garth had become acrimonious after he'd sold her grandmother for a pound of mince when she was out the house.  The stage was set for some changes around Nashville.

Meanwhile... From Canada to Preston

Meanwhile, further north in Canada, a young Canadian mountie called Genevieve was getting fed up chasing moose.  She spent her days in her log cabin dreaming of a career in showbiz, and writing to her pen-pal from exotic Preston, the music capital of Britain, about what could be.  Her pen-pal's name was Starry Sarah, a well known local trouble-causer on the thriving Preston music scene, and inventer of an obscure and threatening dance called the "Warton Wank".  They resolved to break into the world of celebrities somehow, and chose as their method of assault to write intimidating letters to prominent TV stars. Significantly one night, while watching Star Trek, Pookie was struck by the guest appearance of a rising country star, Sezah, and Starry and she set about a persistent campaign of abuse, threatening behaviour, and letter-bombing.  It paid off as we shall see.

A rare shot of Pookie
without a moose
Sezah's guest appearance as sexy
country-singing alien "Dillyparton"
Starry causing trouble on a
street corner in Preston


A Businessman, an Heiress and some Oriental Promise

Meanwhile closer to home, Honey was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when a young aspiring music enterpreneur called Mr Stevie Trousers walked in and ordered a milkshake.  Honey had fallen out with her millionaire father and Cadbury's business tycoon over a disagreement about some peas, and had stormed out of the family mansion Sinister Towers six months earlier and hit the metropolis. Although he continued to send her a sizeable allowance, she was in a right old tizzy.

Mr Trousers had been looking everywhere for someone gullible enough to finance a new soul combo he was putting together with rising Thailand chanteuse and exotic dancer "Oon" and Spanish hussy "Sister Disco"; the temptation for Honey was too much, when Mr Trousers promised her a leading role. For contractual reasons, he called the group "Honeyz", and they became the first band signed to the newly formed consortium, Showcaff Inc.

Honey as a debutante in 
happier days at Sinister Towers
Mr Trousers chipper
after signing another deal
Honey, cocktail 
bar waitress
Oon, relaxing
at home with a pint

Honey couldn't sing, couldn't dance, and kept falling over and crying, but Mr Trousers knew he had talent on his hands with Oon and the strange, unpredictable Sister Disco. He knew he needed help and would spare no expense finding it, so he popped down King's Cross and picked up a homeless down-and-out with a drug problem called Damon to lick the back of stamps. Sadly the glue pushed Damon further down the road to addiction and the final straw came when Mr Trousers found him shivering under the desk one day, moaning about his eyebrows.  He was quickly and quietly sent away for "a rest" and it is testament to Mr Trousers' benign influence to see Dr Damon now, Droolz houseboy with a PhD and nice smart shoes.

Trouser's persuasive
management style
Sister Disco
Before: Damon the
houseboy living rough
After: Dr Damon after
his stay in "the farm"

On To Part Two: "Stupid Spanish Tart"